Rangent

Scene: Sunday afternoon, Shaky Isles Café
Me: Looking like a complete tool

I’m sitting here at a café with laptop, with my macbook, sipping on a flat white and trying to suppress feelings of self-loathing. I look like one of those wankers who takes their computer out in public to give the impression of being a respected indie screenwriter, then hunches over the screen so that no one can see that they’re actually just facebooking and googling the lyrics to ‘Don’t stop me now’ by Queen.

OK, so I am exactly that kind of wanker (cause I'm having a good time, having a good time!) but only because our home internet has completely crapped its pants. Everything at our flat is going that way actually. The roof is leaking and sagging unnervingly like a fat man’s gut. The oven doesn't go, and if you put anything heavier than socks in the washing machine then it lurches into a loud and terrifying attempt at self-destruction.

Ahh it feels good to rant. I’m gon’ keep going.

The fridge isn't broken, but it is much too small - meaning every time I open the door one of seven tubs of hummus will make a bid for freedom and explode on my shoe. God only knows what’s lurking at the back of that thing. I’m pretty sure the foot-long Hungarian salami mum bought me is still in there - sometimes I feel like I get wind of its scent - but it’s been weeks since it saw the light of day. (It’s possible that I ate it or vego flatmates got sick of me brandishing it like a weapon and threw it out, but who knows.)

Oh great, it’s just started to rain. Now I need to bolt home and get buckets under the leak. I didn't even get a chance to talk about Queen! Which is what this post was going to be about before I went off on a ranty tangent. (now do you see what I did with the post title? Word blends FTW!)

Anyway, the words 'best song ever' get thrown around a lot these days, but after about six wines last night me and Sylv decided that this is the one. We then proceeded to sing it, or the small part of it that we knew, over and over to anyone within our vicinity. Didn't make any new friends last night, but who needs em when you're travelling at the speed of liiiiiight...

Check it: