Waiting for www.facebook.com...

Trying to use the internet at our flat at the moment is a bit like trying to drive a car that doesn't have an engine or steering wheel and isn't really a car at all but a cardboard box with wheels and speed lines drawn on in crayon.

It's useless.

In the time it currently takes to load Facebook I would usually have refreshed the page five times, updated my status and casually perused a few of [insert crush-of-the-week]'s photo albums. Implications of unhealthy facebook habits aside, you can see how I'm about ready to take to the router with a bat à la Office Space.

OK fine, its not really the router's fault, it's our epicly terrible broadband provider Woosh's. OK fine, its ours because we went over the data limit. Even so, I can't believe its actually slower now than in 2000 when I used to use Napster to download Westlife songs. (As a joke people, as a joke.)

I'm going to hit 'publish post' now, and hope that this reaches you before Santa.